Last time, we looked at a theology of mentorship. This article presents a guide for mentorship. It has three elements: Light, Mirrors, and Love. These three facets are integrated and work in harmony with each other and as the Holy Spirit leads.
As we all know, there are no fast tracks or formulas for mentorship. Often, it’s an organic reality that occurs within the mystery of God’s sovereign grace. At the same time, sharing a common language or pursuing intentional elements within the mentorship process is helpful. To that end, below is one humble and certainly not final attempt at guiding mentorship biblically.
LIGHT–God’s Word is the Guide.
“Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” Psalm 119:105
- Mentorship is from–out of–the overflow of your time with the Lord–in His Word and prayer. God’s Word guides the mentor to guide the mentee to loving God…loving His Word…loving His people…and ever being before His face (Psalm 27:8).
- A good place to start is the Robert Murray M’Cheyne Bible reading plan. To the extent you are willing and don’t already have a Bible reading plan you are already committed to, I would encourage you to consider reading through this plan and ask someone you’re mentoring to join you. It will create direct points of biblical contact with them during your meetings.
MIRRORS–Giving Godly Criticism.
“All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” 2 Timothy 3:16-17
- Godly criticism stems from a desire to see the glory of God manifested in and through all that we do and say. Leaning wisely into giving godly criticism helps dissolve the fear of man and enables godly humility, sincerity, and gentleness.
- The outcome is that both the mentor and mentee increasingly conform to Christ’s image. It follows, then, that the purpose of bringing up any issue or challenge with a mentee is that the mentor might be used–by God’s grace–as an instrument and, in some mysterious way, a part of conforming the mentee into the image of Christ.
- Giving godly criticism happens through a relationship to the aim of bringing God glory. Thus, we seek to build bonds as we wisely point out wrongs.
- When you reach a point of needing to bring godly criticism into the conversation, consider using phrases like “…help me understand.” “Did you intend for _____ to come across this way?” “I know ______ is not what you wanted to communicate, but this is what _____ communicates.”
LOVE–Giving Godly Encouragement.
“But the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” 1 Timothy 1:5
- Meet them where they are because this is where they will connect.
- Time and flexibility build trust.
- It may take 3-6 months before this actually happens, which means being willing to have a lot of shallow conversations, however, with the goal of being intentional.
- While the mentor receives a blessing, and it is certainly reciprocal, the goal is not to make this about the mentor. Therefore, the mentor should not take it personally if the mentee takes time to build a relationship. Seek to understand the mentee and come alongside them right where they are.
- Time and flexibility build trust.
- Seek to identify and communicate godly character qualities you see expressed in your mentee(s).
Seven Questions to Cultivate Conversation with Your Mentee:
- What are you celebrating?
- What challenges are you facing?
- In what ways can I pray for you?
- Is there any character quality you desire to improve or refine?
- What is God teaching you from His Word?
- In what ways are you serving in your home?
- What are the 3-5 expectations you have for this mentorship relationship?