Like my morning routine, I approach the evening with intentionality. While the end of most days is more uncertain than the mornings, I still aim to establish a pattern of consistency that follows through until my morning alarm brings me back to the land of the living.
6:00 PM – Family Dinner
- We don’t always hit this time, but when we do, it sets us up for a more comfortable evening.
- Our dinners are casual, full of conversation, and sometimes corrective during our season of life with young kids.
- I’ll usually pray, thanking God for His provision and Jennifer (and whoever helped) for making the meal.
- The flow is simple: one of the children has the dinner chores, which means she sets out the plates, eating utensils, and food.
- After dinner, our clean-up follows a simple chore pattern: each child has responsibilities to clean, put away, pick up, and more.
- Engage in outside activities, chores, or school work following dinner clean up. Depending on when the sun sets and what sport or interest is prevailing, we may hit the volleyball, throw a balled-up sock in the living room (thank you, Jay Williams, for this idea), read a book individually, and more.
~7:30 PM – Family Devotional
- Individual Journals: I use this time to journal while the family mills around; we’re generally all in the same area and about to start our family devotionals.
- Journal to a daughter.
- I began writing to my daughters before they were born. Essentially, I write to one daughter at a time until I fill up the journal, then I buy a new one and write another until I fill up her journal, and so on. Right now, I am back to writing my oldest daughter.
- Each journal entry is short. I begin with the [Date – Day – Time] Temperature. I may say something like, “I had a good day,” or “You are growing up!” or “I sure do love you, and I’m proud of you.” Other times, I may be more specific about the things going on in my life, her life, or our family’s life.
- My goal here is to be consistent.
- I’ll give these journals to them at some point in the future.
- Journal to the Lord.
- I use the same journal that I wrote in during my morning routine. Although, I use a different color pen. I use a red pen in the morning, and in the evening, I use a purple pen. I begin with the [Date – Day – Time] Temperature, like all my journals. These entries are short and sweet, usually a prayer or me bringing thoughts, concerns, fears, etc., to God.
- Journal to Jenn.
- Like my journal to my daughters, this journal is to Jenn. It relays my love for her, thoughts about her, happenings in our lives, my life, or other circumstances. Each entry begins the same: [Date – Day – Time] Temperature.
- I’ll give this to her at some point in the future.
- Journal to a daughter.
- Family Devotional Time: We usually gather in the living room (we used to gather in our bedroom). The goal is to find the most comfortable place for everyone. This time may range from 5 to 30 minutes.
- A few key points here:
- This time is approximate and depends on the season.
- I aim to be consistent, meaning our material/content has changed over the years. I’m less concerned with “covering” certain content than ensuring this experience is part of our lives.
- When the children were younger, we had more interruptions and challenges. Those never became a huge issue because (1) we don’t take ourselves too seriously, and (2) we discipline our girls when they misbehave, get distracted-silly, or disrespectfully hijack the devotional in other ways. In general, when they act(ed) out, we ask(ed) them to leave our family time and sit in a place separate from us but near enough to hear. We do this for at least two reasons: (1) to acknowledge their defiance and (2) to have them experience consequences due to their defiance. It’s a small picture of how we break fellowship with God in our own self-sufficiency, and I share that with them as they are being asked to leave our time of family fellowship. They can come and rejoin us once they are ready to apologize and be respectful.
- This devotional time is not severe/solemn and is not trivial/flippant either. We don’t get too serious here, but I expect respect from the children. We’ll laugh about random things and take rabbit trail discussions, but I’ll always bring it back to the point. In other words, not much can derail me from finishing our time together.
- This time/flow changes if we have guests over or are traveling.
- Bible exposition
- I pick a book of the Bible and go through it verse-by-verse. Right now, we are in 2 Samuel.
- My goal isn’t to finish a book as quickly as possible but to slowly work through it, gleaning life applications and insights.
- Once I’ve picked the section of Scripture for that evening, I’ll ask one of the girls to read it aloud. After that, I’ll explain the verses in general and then give one or two takeaways for their life or life in general.
- The goal is not to be a great Bible scholar but to help them see the real-life relevance of God’s Word (verse-by-verse) to life.
- Diary of Private Prayer
- After a time in the Word, I read the evening prayer from the book Diary of Private Prayer out loud.
- The hope is to expand our thoughts on how to pray. Baillie is an excellent prayer resource.
- Memorized prayers out loud
- Years ago, I wanted the girls to memorize portions of Scripture and prayers to keep as a foundation for life. And so, they memorized and pray Psalm 23, the Lord’s Prayer, and the Gloria Patri.
- Also, we recently implemented the A.C.T.S. prayer model (Adoration. Confession. Thanksgiving. Supplication).
- After I read Diary of Private Prayer aloud, the girls take turns praying Psalm 23, Lord’s Prayer, or Gloria Patri on our weekend devotionals, and they pray using the A.C.T.S. model during our weekly family devotionals.
- A few key points here:
- Family Fiction Read-aloud
- Jennifer is an excellent, out-loud reader. I learned this when she first began reading to our children when they were young.
- This works by picking a fiction series and slowly working through each book. We’ve made it through Narnia and Little House on the Prairie (into the Rose years), and now we’re working through The Lord of the Rings.
~8:30 PM – Children’s Bedside Prayers/Reading
- After family devotions, I prepare for bed by pulling back the covers and turning on a sound machine. We like the forest sound, which is not loud, serving more as a background noise. Jennifer will have the diffuser going with essential oils from time to time.
- These acts serve as triggers to prepare the senses for sleep.
- After preparing the bed for sleep, I join each daughter, usually at her bedside, for prayers.
- This time is sweet and brief. Once the children are all in bed, I kneel alongside them and pray extemporaneously. There is no agenda but to hear their heartbeats, listen to their prayers and concerns, and then to lift them up in prayer.
- I’ve given them special names, so I begin with, “Lord, thank you for Rebekah the [Special Name].” Their special names relate to a character quality I noticed they have possessed since they were young.
- The hope here is to build a rhythm of prayer and pour our hearts out to God right before bedtime.
- In the past, I read books to them aloud. However, that season has pretty much come to an end.
~8:45 PM – Personal Bed Time
- Final physical fitness.
- Fifty pushups (I’ve done this virtually every night since approximately 2000-01). I added a 30-second Superman plank and stretches years ago as well.
- I’m not getting my heart rate up here…I’m just getting a little uncomfortable right before I get in bed and ease into the comfort of sleep.
- Fifty pushups (I’ve done this virtually every night since approximately 2000-01). I added a 30-second Superman plank and stretches years ago as well.
- Psalms in 30 Days by Trevin Wax.
- After the final physical fitness, I read a selection from this little gem. It has been broken down into three readings per day, but I do one of the three readings daily, taking me 90 or so days to complete instead of 30 days.
- This book includes creeds, confessions, and other liturgical elements, further expanding my view of the Church, God, doctrine, and more.
- Good book: Usually fiction or a biography.
- After enriching my spirit, I move into a fictional book or biography.
- Right now, I’m reading Holy War by John Bunyan.
- This content is the last thing that passes over my brain. I don’t usually go to sleep thinking about what I read, but I know it implicitly impacts me. So, I choose my books carefully.
- I may read one to two chapters or a single page. I’m not rigid here.
- Prayer with Jenn
- When Jenn and I were first married, we committed to praying together every night. The goal is not long or theological but brief and straightforward. It has been part of our routine our entire marriage. I cherish it.
- Lights out…usually by 9:15-30 PM.
My evening routine will undoubtedly be as different from your routine as yours is from another person’s routine. However, whether we can see it or not, we all have rhythms/routines we follow as part of our everyday living. By presenting my routines here, I hope you see possibilities for incorporating intentional elements into your routine as you see fit.
The aim is toward consistency…not rote. The aim is toward slow and meaningful development…not excitement. The aim is toward self-control…not fickle fancies. The aim is toward Christlikeness…not worldliness. And so, I’m plain enough to know that this routine is dynamic and yielded to God. I don’t get thrown off when things don’t go as expected, and I’m not elated when they do. I approach each evening with simplicity of heart and soul, seeking to be a consistent father and husband to Jenn and my girls. While it’s not always easy, it’s simple.
God help us all as we continue our journey knowing our Lord! Amen.
“So teach us to number our days,
That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.”
Psalm 90:12
— January 17, 2024