“Do not lay hands upon anyone too hastily and thereby share responsibility for the sins of others; keep yourself free from sin.”
1 Timothy 5:22
When I first met the man who started Denton Bible Church, I really didn’t know what to think. He was unassuming. He wasn’t loud. He didn’t glad-hand. As I watched him get ready to share his testimony at a men’s Bible study, I did notice a few things…
- He had a gentleness about him.
- He had a strength that was manifested in his firm and upright posture.
- He had intelligent eyes.
Over the years, as I’ve been around Mel Sumrall, I’ve grown as a pastor, as a man, and as a disciple of Christ. I’ve also been the recipient of some pretty good Mel stories as well. One stands out, and it’s the start of a three-part series entitled–See. Know. Trust.
SEE
There was a young college student who came up to Denton Bible Church, found his way to Mel Sumrall in the missions department, and expressed a desire to serve as a missionary to China. At this point, Mel had transitioned out of the senior pastor role of DBC, and was now helping to launch Denton Bible’s mission’s department. This young man did not lack in zeal, he did not lack in enthusiasm, and he certainly didn’t lack in faith. What would Mel say to him?
The story went something like this: Mel simply asked him, “You’re a college student here at North Texas, right? Yes. Are there Chinese students here? Yes. Are you ministering to them right now? No.” End of conversation.
Mel’s questions simply brought to light a reality that begs all of our attention. Mel simply challenged passion without intention. Youth brings ideals, and time brings depth [that when coupled with ideals brings change]. How many good intentions have been buried in the soil of intention-less passion?
How Does This Apply To Us Today?
- Remember that passion is from God and is good.
- Couple intentional experience with the vein of passion to determine direction.
- Surround yourself with counselors who are not “yes-men”.
Before trust, one has to be known, and before being known, one has to be seen.
We’re taking a look at three elements of identifying, empowering, and entrusting leaders with responsibility. The easy thing to do is to delegate responsibility at first glance. Delegation is part of the process, but it can’t be used as an excuse for infatuation, laziness, lack of knowledge, or apathy. To delegate too soon is to abdicate not empower and entrust.
KNOW
What does it mean to KNOW someone, and how does it differ from simply SEEing them?
Anyone can make racket to be seen. Take the guy who is the loudest or the funniest in the group. Of course, he’ll be seen. He may even be around a lot, have all the potential in the world, and even look the part, but he may still not be ready for responsibility.
To KNOW someone means you spend time with them outside of their being “on”. In other words, what are they like at home? What are they like with their spouse (if they’re married)…their kids? What are they like with their friends when something doesn’t go their way? Are they rigid or are they flexible? Do they have a temper? Do they have secret and besetting sins that they’ve kept hidden? What areas of life do they keep others out of?
Now, I’m not saying that before a person is entrusted with responsibility that they have to bear all, expose all, and confess all.
What I am saying is that for a person to be entrusted with responsibility, they have to be observed in different areas of life, be around different people, and have their patterns noticed.
The bottom line…to KNOW someone means you need:
- Time
- To determine how they respond in various situations and challenges.
- To determine various perspectives from different opinions.
- To observe patterns.
- To see their sense of humor.
- To know their heart for the Lord, His Word, His cause, and His people.
- To know that–in failure–they confess, dust themselves off, pick up their ball, and get back in the game.
What’s the way forward?
- Don’t entrust responsibility to anyone based upon potential or even what you SEE.
- Entrust responsibility to someone that you KNOW.
- Remember that no one is perfect. So, even if you KNOW them, they will still fail. The difference is,
- they’ve earned the right to fail,
- their failure is as much your responsibility as it is theirs, and
- use their failure to teach, mature, and grow them (and you).
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.””
1 Samuel 16:7
TRUST
I remember the first time Tommy Nelson, the senior pastor of Denton Bible Church, asked me to share at a men’s Bible study he had been leading for years. There were over a hundred men from various backgrounds that showed up each week to hear teaching from the Word of God. My experience sharing publicly, up to that point, had been very little. I was nervous to say the least.
However, a year or so before I was asked to share at this study, I had attended a discipleship class that Tommy offered at Denton Bible. Discipleship was an enigma to me. Something we all liked to talk about, but not something that any I knew could define. That all changed during those three weeks.
After the last session, I eagerly waited to walk out with him, because there was something that had been stirred within me during that time that I still haven’t been able to quell. Something that I had to learn more about. So, as we walked out of the fellowship hall that night, I asked him to meet with me for breakfast so I could learn more about discipleship. He agreed, and we went to Le Peep in Denton that following week.
To this day I still remember that conversation. There was talk about missions, about life, about the Word of God, and about making our lives count. As we left breakfast that morning, I asked to meet again. He agreed, but I had to read a book (Church History in Plain Language) before we could meet. Up to this point in my life I had only read to get by classes and exams (college was years behind me). Like some, I simply did not read for pleasure or for continuing education. Well, suffice it to say, I read that book (505 pages) in 10 days. I couldn’t put it down, and also I was challenged. We met after I read the book, and then I asked to meet again. He had the audacity to tell me to read the same book (Church History in Plain Language) again before could meet. I read it a second time (took me 30 days this time), and we subsequently met again. Over the course of that year or so, he had me read books that covered philosophy, history, a biography, and much more. I read and I read…just about every evening. We would then meet, discuss life, ministry, the Word of God, and then I would read another book to meet again. This type of arrangement went on for over a year until he asked me to share at his men’s Bible study that morning.
Looking back–after now being on staff at Denton Bible for over 8 years, and being over a decade removed from sharing at that Bible study–I realize that I was earning the right to have the trust of Tommy Nelson. He wanted to see me, to get to know me, and then he would trust me with responsibility. I had to earn the right, and he had to have the courage to challenge me to be faithful.
How Does This Apply To Us Today?
- Don’t give trust away too quickly.
- In an amazon-prime-convenience-based-throw-away culture, it’s easy give responsibility away too quickly. Don’t do it. I’ve done it, and regretted it.
- Take the long road, and let the gift of time prove someone’s salt.
- Have the courage to make someone wait, sacrifice, and earn the right to be heard.
- Often, in acquaintance-type relationships, we don’t want relationships to be awkward in the least bit. Therefore, we can find ourselves avoiding any form or semblance of confrontation.
- Let the awkwardness of making someone wait and be uncomfortable prove the character and fortitude of someone you are discipling and getting ready for responsibility.
- Once faithfulness has been proven, let the person have the right to fail (or succeed).
- As the person you are raising up has proven himself, get out of the way and let them run. Don’t micromanage.
- Don’t rescue them from failure either. Give your advice–if warranted–and let them own the success and failure. Otherwise, you run the risk of patronization.
- Waive the flag of reproductive discipleship.
- Model reproductive discipleship by not engaging in bottleneck discipleship. Simply put, keep making disciples of new people…constantly.
- Raise the standard for those you are trusting with responsibility and leadership to do the same. The easiest way to do that is to have them come up with their own plan of discipleship, and then hold them accountable.
“The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.”
2 Timothy 2:2
— March 23, 2022