Your heart starts pounding. Your breathing increases rapidly. Your muscles tighten. And you find yourself in the middle of playing the old Wacky Gator (or Wack A Gator) arcade game, trying to wack the heads of lunging alligators. To your bewildering surprise, you hear it quip, “Now I’m angry,” followed by a barrage of plastic gators. In the end, you wipe the sweat off your brow and proceed to collect your paper tickets.
What does the Wacky Gator teach us?
Well, even plastic alligators can get angry!
The real lesson: anger is an emotion we all experience, and as Christians, we must know how to appropriate it.
Let’s define anger and its experience:
- Anger, in general, is an emotional response to an expectation not being met.
- Both God and man experience anger.
Therefore, anger can be good (righteous) or not good (unrighteous).
God demonstrates righteous anger. We can as well. For example, when we see or hear of injustices, our response is usually anger from a place of righteousness. We want to end injustice because an emotional response of righteous anger moves us.
While we could spend time developing an understanding of righteous anger, this article focuses on unrighteous or destructive anger and how to deal with it.
An easy way to think about anger is like a check engine light.
When that light kicks on, you know
- something is going on under the hood
- it’s in your best interest to investigate
How does this work itself out practically?
- You’re angry because…
- someone talked bad about you behind your back.
- you lost something very expensive or important to you.
- you didn’t get the promotion or position you had worked hard to obtain.
- your children are disrespectful and disobedient.
- you just got cut off in traffic…or you’re in traffic.
- you’re hungry.
These circumstances (and many others) present opportunities for your expectations not to be met, resulting in anger as an emotional response.
How do you deal with anger as an emotional response so you don’t fall into unrighteous anger?
- Talk to yourself – Psalm 42:5
- The Psalmist learned through self-understanding. Processing emotions helps understand the struggle better.
- Identify the cause – James 4:1
- Often, anger becomes unrighteous when we are self-preserving or self-advancing. James reminds us to understand our contribution to the problem first. This leads to the third point.
- Determine if it’s outside or inside of you – Inside: Proverbs 24:16 / Outside: Romans 12:19
- Did you bring this on yourself, or is it outside of you? Was it a lack of planning or irresponsibility, or was someone or something else bringing an unmet expectation your way? Seek to know the difference and respond accordingly.
- Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to become angry – James 1:19
- Listening, not speaking, and controlling the emotional response of anger is the aim after understanding what’s happening and why it’s happening. This disciplined approach takes time. Be patient!
- Rule your spirit action by action – Proverbs 25:28
- Understand that every action under control is one stone placed in your wall of defense against the unrighteous uncontrolled spirit. Be methodical, take daily steps, and trust God to give you the strength to remain under control.
- Apply methods that ease anger – Ephesians 5:15-16
- Part of my running or exercising are ways to process unmet expectations that can lead to anger.
- Setting up an ideal weekly calendar helps me navigate my myriad responsibilities.
- What works for you to be responsive instead of reactive?
- Remember that unrighteous anger is sin and separates you from God and others – James 2:8-10
- Those saved by grace through faith know that they are not eternally separated from God, but that they can become relationally separated by sinning through unrighteous anger (Ephesians 4:30-31).
- Those not saved are hopeless apart from a turning to Christ in faith.
Therefore, anger is like seeing a check engine light and ignoring it if left undisciplined. The consequences are too much to deny, neglect, and not resolve.
May we be people who properly process and resolve to bring our anger under the control of the Holy Spirit. Instead of trying to control all the situations around us, may we yield our expectations to God’s authority. Amen!
— October 13, 2022