We began our Trojan Horse series considering a harsh reality that narratives guide minds…minds inform hearts…hearts direct decisions…decisions determine life-trajectory…and, life-trajectory establishes legacy.
The aim, then, in establishing the legacy of a culture is to take back or reclaim the narrative(s) of that society or culture.
Where does one begin?
Let’s begin with PARENTING.
There is an account in the Bible where the people of God–on their way out of slavery in Egypt–were enticed and seduced, and ultimately lost 24,000 of their own people’s lives.
“While Israel remained at Shittim, the people began to play the harlot with the daughters of Moab. For they invited the people to the sacrifices of their gods, and the people ate and bowed down to their gods.”
Numbers 25:1-2
Previously, Balaam–a hired sorcerer–could not penetrate the protection God had over His people. Try as he might, Balaam could not curse the people of God. No matter how many times he tried to speak out against this fledgling Israelite nation–in an attempt to defeat and destroy them–he could only utter blessings upon them.
But then, something happened.
Something changed.
Their stomachs began to grumble, and their lusts began to flame.
And so, the people of God–from within themselves–were drawn away by lust and appetite. The savory and juicy smells of meat sacrificed to idols and the piercing and seductive beauty of foreign women was all it took to draw them in. And, in they came, only to face the wrath of God and the loss of 24,000 lives.
Subterfuge, deceit, and playing to the pride, lust, and appetite of the people led to God’s discipline upon His people. A curse couldn’t penetrate, but their sinful desires from within did…
How Does This Apply To Parenting?
Let’s take a look at two real-world examples:
- Most parents usually agree that there are kids and other families in society (or their own neighborhoods or schools) that present challenges to their own desired parenting vision for their own children.
- In other words, most parents would agree that there are some children who pose a threat to their vision for their own children’s understanding of respect, kindness, use of language, understanding of sexuality, etc.
- Therefore, most parents subsequently protect their kids from “spending” too much (or any) time with any child or family that is perceived to be a threat to their parenting vision for their own children.
- Most parents also agree that our culture has made social media, screen time, and text messaging a primary means of communication, entertainment, and identity-defining-tools.
- In other words, most parents view this digital world as a product of the culture, and usually feel that the screen-time, social media, and communication primarily through text messaging poses a threat to the health and well being of their own children’s identity and life.
- Therefore, most parents try to put a limit on (and will even ground from) screen time, social media, and text messaging.
While actions that most parents engage in may prove prudent in an attempt to shield and protect their children from the negative influences of other children and families, as well as the negative influences of screens and digital media, they can–without even recognizing it–bring upon themselves their own demise and God’s subsequent discipline, i.e. they blindly open the door for the Trojan Horse to enter.
How so?
Let’s break down the two examples from above…
- First, it is noble and even wise to desire to protect one’s own children (or grandchildren) from negative influences from other children or other families. The question is…what influence(s) are they not wanting their children to be exposed to from those other kids or families?
- Disrespect…anger…pride…being unkind…mean faces…lying…cheating…_____
- But, isn’t it often in their own homes that children first learn what disrespect looks like? I wonder if a little child has ever seen her mom or dad speak disrespectfully to each other?
- Isn’t it often in the home where a child learns what anger looks like? It’s probably safe to say that a parent has shown their children the ugly face of anger on more than one occasion.
- Is it safe to say that children first learn how to make a mean face of pride toward someone in their very own homes? I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that children observe the faces mom and dad’s make to each other and to their children, and in turn emulate those faces to their siblings, teachers, friends, and others.
- To bring it home, ever said–as a parent–“…they sounded like or bursted out in anger like or disrespected their sibling just like… me.”?
- In a similar way to the Israelites of old, we can, by our own anger and pride, etc., bring into our own homes the Trojan Horse of sin and subsequent discipline of God.
- Second, wisdom points us once again to managing the digital media in this digital age. Research continues to demonstrate the negative effects digital media can have on social skills, communication, addictions, and the like. As a result of this, what are some of those negative effects parents are trying to keep their kids from?
- Addiction to pornography…entertainment…identity-definers through social media…deficiency of human relationships…____
- But, the question is… “Are parents limiting their own screen time, social media, and text messaging habits?”
- I wonder if there are any children or grandchildren out there who regularly see their own parents (or grandparents) not curbing their own digital habits (i.e. Netflix binges, facebook browsings, or phones attached to the hand texting, surfing, or posting)?
- To bring it home, when do you shut your phone down? Do you employ a no phone policy after a certain time? Better yet, if you have an iPhone, go to Settings –> Screen Time –> iPhone –> Last 7 Days, and you’ll see the average amount of screen time you’ve had over the last 7 days…SCARY!
- In a similar way to the Israelites of old, we can, by our own addictions to screens and digital media, etc., bring into our own homes the Trojan Horse of sin and subsequent discipline of God.
What’s the way forward?
Change the narrative. Change the narrative of parenting.
A parenting narrative begins with you. It begins with me.
CLICK HERE for one take on a parenting narrative.
— June 28, 2019